March 07, 2023

Five Ways I Help Build Confidence in My Children

From the perspective of a caregiver in our program.

Confidence is feeling good about yourself because of your abilities or qualities. You need confidence to be successful. Mentors must help their children feel confident. But sometimes, bad experiences can make children lose their confidence.

This can be true for children growing up in a world of ever-present technology and abundant information. But, perhaps unknown to many, children who lost their parents through emotional or physical abandonment and have not been given the necessary guidance develop low confidence levels.

Fortunately, there are ways for parents to help their children build healthy self-confidence. At Friends LA, we directly help our children develop the knowledge, skills, and abilities they need to achieve success in the future.

In this article, I will share five ways to help build confidence in children.

5 Ways to Build Confidence

Developing confidence in children takes time and patience. It requires recognizing their unique personalities and respecting the gifts they possess.

There are five that I try to focus on when helping build my children's confidence:

1. Modeling. The best way to show my children how to be confident is by exhibiting it myself. Showing them that I'm not afraid of new challenges and taking risks helps them become open to trying things they usually wouldn't do.

2. Positive affirmation. I positively talk to my children, encouraging them and validating their efforts. When they make mistakes or fail at something, I remind them that it's okay and that failure is part of learning.

3. Encouragement. I constantly encourage my children to pursue their interests and passions and to always strive for excellence. I also remind them of their strengths and help them build on them to succeed.

4. Support. I provide emotional, physical, and mental support for my children to feel safe and secure when attempting new challenges or facing fear. This can involve helping them do their homework, taking them to activities, or providing a listening ear when needed.

5. Open communication. I encourage my children to share their experiences and feelings openly without fear of judgment or ridicule. This helps build trust and creates an environment where we can work together toward our goals.

These five ways have helped me build my children's confidence. My goal is to continue to find ways of assisting them to discover and embrace their unique gifts, building a solid foundation for future success.

The Challenges

It is easier said than done. As a mentor, I am influenced by my childhood experiences and upbringing. This can be both helpful and hindering in developing confidence in children. As such, I must actively learn to recognize the areas where I fail and make an effort to change them.

I also need not put too much pressure on my children. While expectations should be set, I must remember that children have different strengths and weaknesses. As such, they should not be judged by the same standards as their peers or adults.

Nurturing self-esteem and confidence in children is not an easy task, but it is an essential one.

The Rewards

Developing healthy confidence in children has a variety of rewards.

Firstly, it helps children develop the skills and qualities they need to become successful in whatever they pursue. This can include better academic performance, improved relationships with peers and adults, increased self-awareness and understanding of their emotions, higher emotional intelligence, enhanced problem-solving skills, and healthy self-esteem.

Secondly, it helps create a sense of security in children, allowing them to make decisions and become more independent and confident. This encourages them to take risks, explore their interests, and trust themselves.

Finally, creating an environment that fosters healthy confidence helps strengthen the bond between parent and child. It creates an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding and helps children feel comfortable coming to their parents for help.


While the counsel provided here directly applies to parents, it also applies to my fellow mentors at Friends LA. Children may be hesitant to learn from distant relatives or friends at first; however, those who show genuine interest in the child's success and are willing to provide the right kind of support will eventually be rewarded with a trusting relationship and build up their confidence.